A Covid Lesson in Leadership: Self Worth vs. Professional Worth

Ten years into what was a very promising career with a major international company, I was blindsided when there was a major layoff across many divisions.  My area was especially hard hit, as the company made the decision to halt all further product development and move into strictly operating what was already existing.  With that decision, a department of about 23 people became a department of 7 within a few hours.

Those of us that were laid off were given the option of attempting to find other opportunities within the organization (they gave us about 7 weeks from the day we were told we were laid off until our actual last day).  We were told that it was on us to find these other opportunities, but that if we saw a job posted within the company we felt we might be right for we should let them know and they would ‘see what they could do.’.

After the initial shock wore off and reality set in, I reached out to the few professional contacts I had outside of the company to let them know I was soon to be without work.  I was extremely lucky that one of the contacts quickly reached out and offered me a position within her company.  It would mean a job completely different from the one I had, and working in a totally different industry.  I’m not an especially ‘spiritual’ person, but I did feel like this was some sort of a sign that maybe it was time for me to spread my wings, to see what else was out there.

So I did just that.  I chose to not pursue other opportunities within the organization.  I let them know I would be ending my employment on the date they had assigned.  On that Friday, I turned in my company ID, beeper (yes, beeper.  Don’t judge.), credit card, drove to the HR offices, rang a bell on a door and it opened a crack and they handed me a check for 10 weeks salary.  My severance pay.  And with that, I was off.

(As a side note, I spent that weekend at a beach house with friends.  Drank way too much.  And had a great time.)

That Monday, I started a new job in a new company and a new industry.

I will shortcut the rest of the story, since the journey of job transition isn’t the point of this piece.  I took the new job, met great people, was treated extremely well and was pretty good at the job.  Ultimately, I came to realize that the work I was doing before the layoff was my passion so I chose to leave the new company (on good grounds, with lots of notice) and pursued work in my original field.  Although I quickly get work in my former industry, through a unique set of circumstance I ended up back on contract with my original employer which led to being brought back on as a full time employee which, after nearly 15 years, led to my promotion as an executive within that organization.

I don’t tell this story very often.  To be honest, it’s just easier in most work occasions to say “I’ve been with the company 30 years” than go into any more detail.  They probably don’t want to know any more detail anyway!

When I do choose to talk about my experience of being laid off, it’s because I’m speaking to someone struggling with their role in the company, maybe stressed by uncertainty, questioning the business environment and what it might mean to their career.  I share the story because I think it’s important to distinguish between self worth and professional worth.

As the organization has been struggling through the realities of a furlough and what will be, most likely, a very challenging recovery, I have watched peers and team members feel like their professional worth to the organization is in question, which in turn leads them to the place of feeling like their own self worth is diminished by this.

As hard and dark and challenging as being laid off was, what the journey left me with was a clear understanding of the difference between my self worth and my professional worth.  While closely related, they are- to me- independent of each other.  I learned that my self worth came from, yes- being successful at my career.  But more importantly it came finding a place of confidence.  A place of certainty of purpose.  I learned that I have something to offer to the world.  Some of that is related to work, sure.  But a bigger part of that is just simply who I am, my journey, and what it has taught me.

I learned that what I ‘do’ is separate from who I ‘am’.

What I ‘do’ is still very important to me.  I’m lucky!  I love what I do!  I love where I do it, I love the people I do it with and I miss it a whole lot right now.  From being laid off, I also learned that I’m good at what I do.  I have a professional worth outside of my organization.  Again- love what I do.  But, I also know that if it all ended tomorrow- I have worth outside of my organization.

My company is one that breeds intense loyalty.  Employees with 30, 40, sometimes 50 years of service is extremely common, even at the most senior levels of the organization.  Being the unquestioned leader in our field, all of these are really good, really smart, literally best in the industry people.

But with that incredible loyalty and lengthy terms of service also comes a somewhat conflated blend of the self and professional worth.  Because they have never known a world outside of the company, they don’t see their worth outside of the framework they have always known.

And it brings us back to me being laid off.  The conversations I’m having with these peers and team members is a time to share my story.  To let them know that yes, it literally feels like one of the worst things that can happen to you when your work is taken away.  Do I ever want it to happen to me again?  Oh dear god no!

But- if it did?  I now know (even 20 years later) that I have a professional worth outside of my company.  I’m good at what I do.  Damn good.  And so are they.  And I also know it’s not personal.  Getting laid off isn’t a statement on my self worth.  Who I am is separate from what I do.  What I do I can do somewhere else.  And I will continue to be who I am through it all.  And I hope they all realize the same.

A Covid Lesson in Leadership: Speculation

As the realities of my place of work closing on a global basis quickly set in, my team began coming to me with so many questions I wasn’t able to answer- “When will we return to work?” “How long will this go on?” “Can the company lay us off while on furlough?” “When we come back to work, what will be expected to do?”  An ongoing series of questions and concerns- some more global in nature as it relates to the company and our work, others more personal in nature as it relates to unemployment, wages and benefits.

As a leader, in some cases I was able to give concrete answers or direction.  I could point people to the multitude of resources the company quickly assembled to assist all of us during this incredibly difficult time.

In other cases, to attempt an answer would mean speculation on my part.  And as past experience has taught, speculation is a very tricky business.  As a leader, your team assumes you know the answers, that you know what is going on because of exposure to senior leadership and executive level conversations.  Even if one prefaces a speculative answer with every caveat in the world, because it is coming from you- a leader, an executive- it carries a weight of ‘informed truth’ to your team. They couldn’t believe that were truly JUST speculating on this answer- you must have heard or learned something that informed your answer.

So to that end, I did my best to stop speculating.  If I did choose to answer a question about, say, when we might return to work, I would try my best to reference some type of publicly available information (newspapers, TV news, etc.).  I would share my thoughts as an informed opinion, in which I could point them to the source that led me to that thinking.

As time went on, and the team was growing more and more concerned about the future, and I was trying hard to not live in the world of speculation, I came to realize that what they were really looking for- more than direct answers they could hold me to- was hope.

Hope was the thing that we didn’t seem to have.  There was no hope as to when school would be back in session, there was no hope about when their place of employment would open, there was no hope for an immediate vaccine for the virus, there was no hope as to when they could again gather with their family and friends.  So while I couldn’t give them answers to their questions, what I could do was try my best to give them hope.

I could include in each conversation “When we come back to work…”.  That simple phrase, included in some difficult conversations, seemed to give people a sense of hope.  It didn’t negate any of challenges immediately at hand, or the real desperation of the current situation, but it did let them hear from a leader that we, along with the work we love, the place we love and the magic we get to create, will return.  And we will get to do it all again.

So- along with honesty, openness and authenticity- provide hope.  It goes a long ways to soothe the concerned soul.

A Covid Lesson in Leadership: Meeting People Where They Are

As I continue to think about topics to write during this time of stay at home work furlough, I’m going to tackle some of the things I’ve learned as a leader over the past two months.

I don’t know that any of this is new news, or revelatory thinking.  And I’m sure it is somewhat cobbled together from things I’ve read over the years, or training sessions I’ve been a part of.  But hey- I got nothing but time on my hands, and for what it’s worth there are things I’ve learned during this whole mess.

My first lesson: Meeting people where they are.

I know I’ve read others writings on this topic before, but I don’t know that I’ve ever had to apply this thinking as much as I have had to during this time.

When I was in college for my undergraduate degree, my mother was pursuing a masters degree focused on family health and wellness.  As a part of her thesis, she put a heavy emphasis on grief work, and chose to focus specifically on families that had suffered the loss of a child due to miscarriage or still birth.

(As a side note, this was something that was very unique to focus on.  In the mid to late 80’s, the emotional toll of a child lost to miscarriage was not focused on or discussed.  At the time, our thinking had not evolved to the point of recognizing that once the pregnancy was known, the child was becoming a part of the families lives.  The baby didn’t become a part of their lives at the moment of birth, it started way before that.  And her work was happening at the same time that new fertility practices were being used by doctors to help couples that were having problems getting pregnant hopefully achieve their dreams of having a baby.  At the time- and maybe still to this day- the success rate of these new fertility practices was quite low. This became the era of the quin, sex and octuplets because of many fetuses being implanted due to the frequent low success rate.  All this to say- her work was happening at a time that the world needed it.  In fact, just this year- over 30 years later- she has just disbanded the support group she founded at that time.)

Because of my mothers work, I was exposed to a lot of her thinking around the stages of grief- again, something very well known these days.  Denial, Anger, Acceptance, etc.  I watched her do her work and saw the acceptance she showed these forlorn parents, who were all coming at the loss of their child at different points in the process.  I saw how she was able to meet people where they were without judgement or without making them feel that where they were in the process was somehow wrong.

As all of this remarkable, sad, frustrating, angering time started unfolding, I was reminded of the stages of grief.  I found that it become really important for me to, yes- see everyone on my team as individuals, of course- but more importantly to give them the space to let me know where they were on any given day or any given time.

This can be harder to do than it seems.  If someone seems depressed, it’s our natural instinct to try and somehow talk them out of it.  Tell them it’s not as bad as it seems, things will get better, etc. etc.  But I now know for sure- that is not what they want to hear.  While they don’t necessarily want or need someone to go to a dark place with them, they do want to know that them being in a dark place is seen.  Is recognized.  And is understood.

For me, the same applies to someone who seems really up and ok with everything.  I have had occasion over the last few weeks where I’ve been the one in the dark place, not wanting to connect with my team but needing to because it’s not only my job, but they deserve it.  So as a leader you put yourself and your sadness or depression on the back burner and let them be in the place of light.  The place of happy that the kids aren’t fighting today.  Happy that they are able to help the kids with school work.  Happy that the wife isn’t getting furloughed so income won’t be as much of a concern.

I have also had to strongly practice not making conversations about me- unless asked.  I am very lucky- I have a kind, generous team that for every time I sent an email or other message of care, concern, or inspiration at least several of them would write back asking me how I was doing.  And I greatly appreciated that.  But I strongly focused on letting my conversations with individual team members be about them and their experience.  I would fight back the urge to share a story of my own experience in an attempt to maybe inspire or commiserate or talk them out a dark place.

A big part of meeting people where they are is doing just that.  Let them be where they are.  Let them know they are heard.  Let them know they are seen.  But let them be where they are without needing to justify or explain.  Just- be.

Fine.

Fine.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the word Fine.

Three months ago:  “How are you?”  “Oh, I’m fine”.

That “I’m fine” implied a bit of a shoulder shrug, maybe a hint of apathy, a sense of just getting by, just getting through the day…  but, ya know.  “Fine”.  Like the food at lunch, or the meeting you went to, or your weekend where you didn’t do much.  “Fine”.

Today:  “How are you?” “Oh.  I’m fine”.

Now, “I’m fine” has a whole new meaning.  It probably means I’m healthy (I don’t have the virus), my family is most likely all ok, I have a roof over my head, food in my pantry and freezer, every piece of connected technology possible to bring me an endless stream of entertainment choices and more opportunities for connection and communication than one could have ever imagined.

It also probably means I’m currently not earning any income, I’m spending savings or burning up vacation that I would have preferred to use in another way, I spend days upon days alone,  I’m trying hard to not make drinking every day a habit (as appealing as it is at times), I feel even more disconnected than normal from my family who lives thousands of  miles away, and god knows I’m trying not spend the day eating.

I’m reminded of a story from the years I spent working in the cruise industry.  As you walk down the guest corridors, all of the crew are highly focused on speaking to and engaging with the passengers.  A friendly good morning, good afternoon, etc. is very common (and expected by management.). In typical American fashion the “Good Morning” from the crew member was almost always responded to by the passenger saying back “Good Morning.  How are you?”  (Noting that Americans more than any other culture I’ve experienced ask the question “How are you?” Without really caring how the other person is.)  Because 99.9% of the crew on ships are international and speak somewhat limited English, they have learned a few key phrases to use in response to “How are you?”  (Because of course the truthful response of underpaid, overworked, and missing my family desperately wouldn’t fly with a passenger on a luxury cruise ship.)  I remember one steward from the Philippines who would always respond “Sofahsogood”.  All one quick phrase, repeating something she or he had heard before or had been taught to say.  It took me several weeks to finally clock that he was saying “So far, so good” as his response.  What I found striking was that his response truly didn’t have any meaning to him.  It was something he had programmed himself to say.

It was going through the motions.

I’ve been thinking about what other words I will use to answer when asked “How are you?” When this is all over.  (Whatever it is ‘all over’ will look like…) Will I slip back into old habits, and go through the motions and say “I’m fine”?  Or will I think about my response in a new way?

I’m not talking about some weird new ‘brutally honest’ approach. I do think there is a place for civility and courtesy.  There are for sure times that “I am well, thank you” is a perfectly acceptable response.

But I also want to challenge myself to articulate my feelings better.  “I am so happy to be here today”.  “Can you believe this is what we get to do for a living?”  “I saw the worst play ever!  But hey, it was still good to see something that sparked a reaction!”

Make myself take a moment, reflect and then respond- thoughtfully and honestly.

And I also want to really mean it when I ask someone how they are.  If I ask the question, am I prepared for the answer? This whole situation has taught me a lot about leadership (more on that at another time) but first and foremost it has reminded me of how important it is to deal with people exactly where they are at any given moment, which may not be where you are.  But as a friend, a leader, a family member that’s what what we have to do.  And it’s something I want to really focus on moving forward.

And just in case you were wondering, I am fine.  Truly.

A Greece Top 10 List… top 10 tips, not top 10 things to do!

As I sit here on the balcony of our villa in Mykonos, I have been thinking about what words of advice or suggestions/tips/ideas I would give first time visitors (like myself and my travel mates on this trip.)

Below is a somewhat random and in no particular order series of tips/ideas that we share with any interested travelers:

Rent a car:  I am sure there are plenty of folks that figure out the public transportation system on the islands (as it doesn’t seem super challenging) but the flexibility of having your own car is amazing.  If you are flying in, they are easily available to book in advance at any of the airports using a site such as travelocity.  If arriving by ferry, they appear to be readily available at each of the ferry ports.  We did not make arrangements in advance and chose to have our villa owners assist us. In one case, the car was brought to our house, in the other it was brought to the ferry port.  For us, it was probably the best €35-€37 euro we spent each day!

Consider luggage and passengers when booking a car: Like most of Europe, cars are small in Greece.  In fact, here on the islands they have to be small due to the curving tight roads.  Depending on how much luggage you are traveling with, it may be necessary to make a few trips from the car pick up point to your villa/hotel (which isn’t a huge deal as nothing is more than 30 minutes away on the islands).  The other options is to take a cab to the place you are staying and then getting a car delivered.  Trust me, the luggage situation shouldn’t be forgotten!  I know from experience.

Seasonality of the island:  We were traveling September 14-24 and have discovered we are here at the end of the season.  Some beach clubs are already closed or closing, restaurants are letting us know that today is their last day of operation, etc.   The same restaurants have also shared that in July and August you can barely get a table without a reservation (we have had no problems at all). So I suggest keeping that in mind…  if you want the crowds and hopping beach clubs and “scene”, then come in the height of summer.  This time was perfect for us.

Be patient with yourself:  There are moments in the trip that will be stressful.  (I guess that’s true on any vacation!)  Taxis, getting on and off the ferry, driving through the islands for the first time, learning the patterns in which drivers and pedestrians move.  All of these things combine to cause stress upon arrival.   But trust me- be patient, don’t stress and before you know it, it will all be second hand.  The first time we drove to our very remote villa on Mykonos down a crazy, narrow, rocky road I thought it may be the end of our friendships as we knew them!  But within a day, it was second nature and we all laughed about the stress it caused us the day before.

Be ready to spend some cash:  While there are reasonable options for lodging, car rental and some dining, in general the islands are a bit on the pricey side.  Paying to use beach chairs at one of the beach clubs, expensive beers being served, groceries designed for tourists- it starts to add up.   So just be prepared, so some research, balance your spending (we always had breakfast at the villa and usually enjoyed wine, cheese and olives at home before going out to dinner) and you will have a great time.  A frugal traveler suggestion:  there are bakeries located all over the island with cheap sandwiches, pastries, savory and sweet Greek pies…  we enjoyed several meals at the bakeries and bought a meal to take for a beach lunch that was a highlight of the trip.  And the prices are great!

Buy a beach towel!  It sounds silly but we wish we had done it!  You will get just one or two towels per person at your hotel/villa, and you don’t want to get them sandy and all full of salt water.  You will also be spending lots of time at the beach and on the water!  So make the towel one of your souvenirs   But it day one, use it the whole trip, rinse it out if you need to, and keep going!   It will be €10-15 well spent!

Do lots of reading in advance: Blogs, travel guides, books, online travel sites, friends recommendations   Read it all, take it all in, bookmark a few key pages for reference…

And then stop reading and just enjoy:  once you start your time on the islands, just enjoy.  You will be amazed how much of what you read will come back to you- names of beaches, process for getting a chair, where to watch sunset.  We found if we stayed obsessed with everything we read and all the recommendations we had been given, we ended up disappointed that we missed something.  At the same time, we were glad to remember that the beaches Kalafati, Elia, and Lia were all right next to each other so it would be easy to beach hop!

Make a basic plan:  We had nine days.  Six of them had something booked, such as a day long sailing charter, a visit to Akrotiri with a guide, a trip to the hot springs and volcano.  And then the other days were left open.  For us, this was the perfect approach- we had things we knew we wanted to do for sure and then we…

Let the island wash over you and just take it in!  You want more beach time.  Do it.  Shopping?  Sure!  Another sailing trip?  Why not!  Give yourself enough structure that you don’t have to worry about those things that need reservations and planning, and then let the rest just happen.  If you’re like us, you’ll end up with an unplanned trip to the lighthouse on Mykonos for sunset and have one of the most magical evenings of the whole trip.

It’s volcano day!

Little did we know our arrival day to Santorini would be the same day as the local holiday, Volcano Day!

As you quickly learn in Santorini the entire island, the islands around it are a part of an ancient caldera. The explosion is said to have been the largest on earth at the time and maybe all time. In the center of the “circle” of islands are two more recent volcanic islands, the result of eruptions just 3700 years ago.

departing the ferry in Santorini we made our way via pre arranged taxi to our villa, rented through the HomeAway website.  Not being familiar with the island first hand, we chose the villa based on our need for three rooms, an attempt to stay within a certain price point and what was available.  Location was not a priority.

Some tips/thoughts:

Book early.  We booked about two months out, at the end of the season and our options were limited.

Location:  we were located in the Gonia section of the island, located just up from the airport.  This area afforded easy access to Fira, Oia, the beaches, etc. It also had a grocery store and bakery close (not walking distance, but close.).  While it was good for us, I can see some people wanting more of a view of the caldera (we had a wonderful view of the ocean and islands off the coast, but it was a sunrise view, not sunset.).

Rental car:  Rent a car.  You’ll need it.  It’s worth it.  We did not have one arranged in advance, but our villa management  easily helped us arrange one that was delivered to our house within about 90 minutes.  We then left the car at the house at the end of our stay and took the cab back to the airport.  It was 37€ per day and well worth it.

As for the Santorini experience- it’s pretty great.  We pretty much stuck with the highlights as we only had two full days on the island.  We went to Fira the evening of the volcano day celebration.  There was a large fireworks display that evening, which ,sent the city was very crowded.   If you HAPPEN to end up there on volcano day, either make dinner reservations well in advance or just know that you won’t have a prime seat for the festivities.  If you happen to go one of the other 364 days of the year, I would suggest reservations for sure if having a sunset view dinner is important to you.  For us, we just milled around and had a later dinner after many of the festivities were done.

Our second day, we did a three hour boat tour to the volcano and hot springs.  We chose one of the general tourist trips and it was just fine.   Clean boat, friendly staff, cold beers at the bar.  Heed the warnings on other blogs:  if you choose to hike the volcano bring a hat, sunscreen and water.  It is not that the hike to the top itself is so intense, it is just that there is no shade, no cover, and you are hiking up volcanic rock!

After our day on the water, we chose to spend the early part of the evening at our villa, relaxing in the hot tub enjoying the view and the wine, cheese and olives we purchased at the grocery.  This will probably go down as one of our favorite memories of the trip.

Our last day was spent touring the Akrotiri archeological site (hire a guide, it’s worth it!), and then lunch and an afternoon on the beach at Perrios.  Dinner was in a lovely, very Greek taverna with amazing food.  We enjoyed dinner with a combination of Americans, Europeans and locals- which seems to be pretty typical of most places.  And it makes it super comfortable.  Of course, starting the meal with a couple of shots of the Greek equivalent of grappa probably helped.

The last evening was spent in Oia.   What a great place.   Know that it is quite upscale compared to Fira, drawing in a very diverse international clientele. Although we had reservations for after sunset, we walked up to a bar that appeared to have open seats and amazingly ended up with four front row seats with the most amazing view of the sunset from right under a windmill.

As my travel mate said, “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no” and all we had to do was ask about the seats and they were ours.  Another amazing highlight of the trip.

The next day was up, pack and off the sea jets ferry to Mykonos!

When this plane lands… in Greece!

Well…  two years without a post isn’t completely terrible, is it?  No looking back, only looking forward…

This plane has landed- in Greece!  Off on an amazing adventure with the friends I was traveling with when I started this blog in Italy. So it’s appropriate that I am using this time to start again!

I flew from LAX to Athens on Delta, brought JFK.  My travel mates, joining from the Midwest and east coast, flew through Montreal to Athens.   We booked our first night stay on Expedia before arriving, and traveled via taxi to the hotel. We had also booked our next morning ferry to santorini in advance, so it was nice to have so many details like that arranged in advance, especially since it was our first time being in Greece…

Some random thoughts about the trip, Athens, connections, etc. (not that the universe needs more blogs about traveling to Greece….  but hey- another opinion, another perspective never hurts…

Transfer from the airport to Athens/hotel: I hadn’t seen it noted anywhere that it is a flat fee for the taxi ride (assuming you haven’t made arrangements for a transfer in advance).  If I recall correctly it was €20 flat fee, which is a good deal.  I share this only because some may question if the cab driver is taking them on a “long route” to run up the meter…  he’s not, it’s just a city that is a crazy maze of streets and alleys.

Hotel: we booked three rooms in advance on Expedia.  We stayed in a place called “Be My Guest Athens” and it was perfect.  Clean, new, modern, very friendly staff.  It was only one evening but it was just what we needed.  When booking your hotel pay close attention to location.  As it happens, we lucked out on that one!  The location was literally just a few minutes walk to the acropolis and Parthenon, as well as the famous placa market area.  Within minutes of the hotel were many options for restaurants, a beer, ice cream, etc.   Really a perfect location.

After a good nights sleep we were up and out the door at 6:00 am and in a cab to the port to take our blue star ferry to santorini.  (The hotel had kindly arranged the cab the night before- just ask at the desk, they are happy to help!)  Again, just to note it is a flat fee to the port (I don’t recall how much, but it was all set.)

We arrived in plenty of time to board and get situated in the business class lounge on the ship  (Tip: spend a few more dollars and do business class.  You have a seat, it’s quiet…  it’s worth it.)

Next adventure: santorini!   More to come.

 

 

So… what is this?

So… this isn’t a food blog (although I do love eating out and do quite a bit of it); it isn’t a travel blog (although in my past life I did do A LOT of travel, but that has now stopped); it isn’t a gay blog (although I am gay, and the name of the blog was born out me being gay and starting the process of being my true self); it isn’t a friend blog (because, quite honestly, I don’t have a lot of those right now.) So what is it? I need to start writing on a daily basis, and I think the blog will find itself. Because I am all of those things- food, travel, gay, friends, life in SoCal.

Since my last post… Life has changed completely. I’ve moved to California- which actually took place exactly one year ago from the day of this post. In that year I’ve become an executive in my company (although I am still trying to really find the perks in that), I’ve been in and out of a relationship (something that made me very happy ended up making me very sad); I’ve bought and sold a house (because of the move).

For today, because it is a happier subject, let’s focus on travel. Although my level and frequency of travel has completely changed in the last year (a very welcome change, I might add) I have spent the day looking for a house to rent in Sonoma/Wine Country in October with friends. There are so many options, search engines, etc. how does one even begin to narrow down the search? I’ve chosen to VRBO.com as I’ve had friends reccomend it. The good part is the search features. You can very quickly narrow down your search given the criteria they give you. We have some wonderful options- more money than I know we were hoping to spend, but that’s OK… If it’s the right place, it will be worth it.

These friends are the same ones that were the subject of my original posts from Italy. Appropriate that our last trip was Italy, the next trip is wine country!

For future topics: Moving, dating, eating, trying to lose weight, friends visiting… lots of stuff to capture. Now the question is will I do it?

When this plane lands… in China…

So I didn’t think I’d ever see the day come that I would be in a Buick with 4
other people driving through the Chinese countryside at 140 km per hour.  How
fast is 140 km hour anyway?  Do I even want to know? 

Another on my list of I never thought I’d be there…  China.  We started in shanghai. Having been to Tokyo twice I found it quite similar.  We were staying in a very nice hotel
(the shangrila) so of course my experience with and exposure to the culture were
minimal.  

We are now n the road between Zigong and chengdu.  If it wasn’t for the intense pollution and haze, parts of the drive would actually be quite pretty.  But with all of the intense industry throughout the country there is an intense haze and somewhat acrid smell that just hangs n the air.  I find it quite depressing…  Thinking that much of what is driving this environmental abuse is our desire in america and the rest of the world for cheap stuff… 

We have attended two of the famous lantern festivals as a part of this
research trip.  The first was in Yu Garden in Shanghai.  Yu Garden is a type of
tourist themed shopping area combined with a traditional Chinese garden.  There
is a separate small admission price for the garden, but if you ever go to the
area it’s totally worth it.  Don’t be put off by the tourist nature of the
shopping area and leave. Go all the way to the back and experience the garden. 
During the Chinese New Year season there is a very nice installation of what are
referred to as lanterns.  In reality they are more like large, interior lit light sculptures.  Well worth the visit.

The second festival we attended was in Zigong. Although the display is large, it is actually quite tacky and not very cultural…  I would not recommend that western tourists make the trip to see this.  The town is what is referred to as a tier 3 city, meaning that there
is no real cultural value to the city…  No history, cultural sites, etc.   It is a rough city with few hotels friendly to westerners.

So back to the drive…  We’ve slowed down now.  We have two travelers with us that speak Chinese so there was a bit of a “scene” as we had them ask the driver to slow
down.  After a bit of arguing back and forth, we’ve slowed down to about 110 to
120 km hour…  How lucky is my life that I find myself in these situations?  I
truly don’t know that I could have ever imagined half of the things that my work
had allowed me to do…

So…  Should one experience china?  So far my vote is no. Due to the cultural revolution followed by the explosion of industry, etc. there just isn’t much culture left.  It’s just a rough dirty place.  Go to Tokyo.  Go to st Petersburg Russia.  Go to Barcelona and Florence and Tuscany.  But skip china.

When this plane lands, part two…

Well- I guess we can see how that last “re-committment to the blog” went…  That was October, and it’s now January.  But now is the perfect time to refocus as so much has happened since then…

This past Friday I relocated from the east coast to the west coast for a new job.  The time since Christmas was a bit of a blur- packing some boxes (some, as it’s only a temporary relocation), making arrangements for my house, wrapping up work details…  I got to the airport Friday morning to head out here and I soon as I sat down in my seat I thought of this blog… and what my life was going to be like when this plane lands.

So what is life going to be like?  Well, first the place.  I had to select where to live based on what was available through corporate housing.  To be honest, I don’t think I could have gotten any more lucky.  I am living about 10 minutes from the Pacific Ocean in a charming, Orange county, very California.  And very perfect.  I have spent a lot of time out here on business trips over the last 15 years, but I have always been up in LA/Burbank/Glendale.  While there has always been a bit of a charm and attraction to California, there was something that just didn’t click with me.   Since I had never spent any real time in Orange County or by the beach, I never knew what I was missing.  And I never knew how well it would suit me.

I have only been here a few days, but I have already done a good deal of exploring.  There have been your typical activities- shopping for groceries, running to Target for supplies, running back to Target for the supplies that you forgot…  And inbetween, I’ve had two delicious meals, as well as some really good cookies, all at local restaurants.  I’ve also had some even more delicious beers.  I haven’t fully explored the mexican goodness that I can tell is everywhere out here, but lord knows I plan on it.

Tomorrow is the first day at work, so I did a ‘test drive’ today to make sure I knew how to get there.  It took right at 30 minutes on Sunday, so will be interesting to see tomorrow.  I’m going to give myself an hour, just to be safe.

But what does this move really mean?  Will I keep up my weight loss program?  Yes.  Will I make new friends?  Yes.  Will I launch into a relationship?  I sincerly hope so.  Sure, there are lots of professional things to focus on (advance my career, etc. etc.) but what really matters are those personal things.

Get my act together, get happy and healthy, and set up myself to hit 50 at full force.

When this plane lands?  You bet, when this plane lands… it will change me.