I received a work email yesterday with news that I was not going to be transitioning into a new position which would have meant a very major move to Asia. The job would have been a promotion (which is a good thing), would have had great compensation tied to it (another good thing) and would have definitely been a grand adventure (much needed in my life right now).
So why is it disappointing news, I guess? Although all of those things were exciting, the prospect of the move, being very isolated from family and friends, being so far from home relatively alone- all of those things made the opportunity quite scary. I had determined that if offered the job I would take it… and my ego was excited about updating my facebook status to say “I’m moving to Japan!” and being a former actor, there is a part of me that always wants to book every gig I’m up for but in my heart, I don’t think I really wanted it.
And the universe knows, I’ve decided. Over the years, I have had different opportunities with my job. One a few years ago would have meant a move to LA (that part of the opportunity was exciting), a promotion (again, exciting) but would have meant working for a controversial leader within the company (not thrilling). For that reason, mainly, I turned down the job. Well, about three months later I was offered a job within the company that I really, really wanted that was local to where I live. And at about the same time, the leader I would have worked for in LA was fired and many of the team around her let go as well. Those that weren’t are still, in some ways, reeling from the damage she wrought during her time with the organization.
And just this past year- another opportunity in California. But the pay just wasn’t right, and it wasn’t a promotion, so I turned it down. Because of that, I ended up spending much of my summer working on another project in Hawaii (not bad), and at the same time the leader I would have worked for in Cali (which, by the way, was the one reason to take the job) left that area and I would not have liked AT ALL working for the leader that took his place.
So- disappointing news. I guess, because we all want to ‘book the gig’. But does it mean something truly better is around the corner. Absolutely.